Be a responsible authority figure

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Option 1: The other person believes you so you tell them what to do. The downside is that this completely takes away their agency

Option 2: Give them their options and tell them to choose. The downside is that the receiver feels abandoned -- you are still the expert and they want and need your help

Option 3: Go one step further. Ask — not just tell them what their options are. Listen and ask, “What are your goals? What really matters to you?”. You then become a genuine counselor. "The only way you can offer wisdom is by connecting what you know and have observed about what happens with various things to the goals that this individual person has. The art of it is, can I extract, can I listen well enough, can I extract from this conversation enough to tell me what you really care about, to give you some guidance along the way here?" -- to be good at this takes deliberate practice

"Help the whole person, rather than merely [fix], committing to a partnership that empowers them and demonstrates empathy and respect. [Fix] sometimes, [help] often, and comfort always.”

https://onbeing.org/programs/atul-gawande-what-matters-in-the-end/#transcript

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  • 7 months ago by vince